By Celestial Mistress, Maiden, and Minion 

Aries

“The Secret Menu”: Mix two packets of Splenda, one packet of salt, three packets of pepper. Mix with sweet baby ray’s sweet chili sauce. Pour over fruit salad and serve at room temperature.  

Taurus

“Surf and Turf”: Goldfish and beef jerky 

Gemini

“The Stemmo”: Spicy black bean quesadilla and a mountain dew  

Cancer

 “The Professor”: Spinach feta croissant and a cortadito. 

Leo

“Pretty Privilege”: Small strawberry raspberry peach smoothie in a large cup. No lid. No straw. No chia seeds.
 

Virgo

“Dairy Darling”: Strawberry milk and four hard-boiled eggs 

Libra

“Post-Practice Potluck”: Two crispy chicken sandwiches, mozz sticks, Gatorade, and a big brownie cookie.
 

Scorpio

 “The Pall Bearer”: Guacachips, a peach Palmer, and a Clif Bar. RIP 🙁 

Sagittarius

“The Exec”: Lemon San Pellegrino and a cup of iced water.
 

Capricorn

“Old Faithful”: dirty iced chai, sriracha chicken bites, and 10 mozzarella sticks.
 

Aquarius

“The Mom Friend”: Blackened chicken salad and a diet Pepsi, hold the ice.  

Pisces

“Bucksbaum Break”: A Trilogy kombucha and Uniquely Vegan panini.