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Horoscope: We know you don’t have a Halloween costume yet

Henry Loomis


March 21-April 19

Your personality is fiery and passionate. Though that energy is exciting, it can also be a little impulsive and mischievous, so you should go with a devil costume. DIY a Prada logo to add to your costume if you want to give it a Miranda Priestly spin.



April 20-May 20

You didn’t need us to tell you this, but you are the angel to the Aries devil — more sensible, measured and reliable, you are the voice of reason on the other shoulder.



May 21-June 21

Black cats are the epitome of duality — they can serve as good or bad omens, bringing luck with them or taking it away. You can easily throw together this look with a sleek black outfit, cat ears and some drawn-on whiskers.



June 22-July 22

Your perfect costume is a skeleton because that’s how it feels to be a Cancer, exposed and vulnerable. This costume is extra-customizable — add a ghostly white wig and you’re a David S. Pumpkins sidekick, add a guitar and you’re Phoebe Bridgers.



July 23-August 22

If your goal is to be the hottest person at the party, then you should obviously go as Uma Thurman in “Pulp Fiction.” If your goal is to be the funniest person at the party, then use the reliable formula of ironically slutting up a typically unsexy costume, like a nun or an ear of corn — that way, you still end up being the hottest person at the party! Mission accomplished.



August 23-September 22

Find a striped shirt, a beret, suspenders and some face paint because you’re going as a mime. Silence your inner critic with this silent costume and just EMOTE, baby! 



September 23-October 23

Just get your hands on a pair of fairy wings and improvise the rest — whether you’re a butterfly or a forest nymph, anything that captures your light, fluttery energy will do the trick.



October 24-November 21

You need to go as a witch, or a warlock or some other magic-wielding entity. You have secrets, and you probably have supernatural powers and your costume should be a way of safely advertising that.



November 22-December 21

You are weird and messy but a lot of fun, just like the process of carving a jack-o-lantern, so that’s what you should dress up as. Thought we were going to assign the pumpkin costume to an earth sign? Stop being such a know-it-all.



December 22-January 19

You are dreading the process of finding and executing a Halloween costume, so just keep it simple, throw a sheet over your head and go as a ghost. This look also makes it very easy to avoid small talk at the function!



January 20-February 18

You should dress up like the horror movie villain of your choosing because, well, you are the villain. Think outside the box like we know you can — I want to see a Buffalo Bill, a Jennifer Check, even a Jean Jacket. Give us variety!



February 19-March 20

Famously the most creative of the signs, we suspect you’ve already had your costume worked out for weeks, but if that’s not the case, we suggest you go as a vampire. We’re not saying you’re a bloodsucker per se, but you do like to sink your teeth into people, and sometimes you find it difficult to let go.

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About the Contributor
Henry Loomis
Henry Loomis, Graphic Designer
Henry Loomis is a second-year studio art major from Eau Claire, Wisconsin.  He loves books, trees, the artist Ellen Gallagher, movies, but especially queer films involving the ocean, and grows more obsessed with Joanna Newsom every day (the songs seem long, but he promises they’re engaging).
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