The web of people who have hooked up with other people at Grinnell is complex. How do I navigate it?

Dear Tangled Up,

Ask questions. Be honest. Get tested. Don’t let anyone convince you that you have certain obligations (beyond basic human decency) to people who are two or three degrees separated from you. Smile extra big when you run into people who are or have been entangled in your hookup web in some way.

Regards,

S&B

If I don’t feel like going out, should I?

Dear Reluctant Rager,

 If you are taking the time to ask me, then probably yes, you should. Remember that there is a difference between wanting to do something and feeling like doing it. Tell your friends that you don’t feel like going out, but you want to, and let them hype you up. Then, let yourself be surprised.

Good luck,

 S&B

I’ve never orgasmed and don’t know how — how do I learn what I like?

Dear Sexually Frustrated,

Honestly, schedule a full hour to masturbate. Like, put it on your calendar and show up to the appointment. And go really slow. It’s like introducing allergens into a baby’s diet — if you pile everything on at once, you won’t be able to track what’s going right and what’s going wrong.

Also, orgasm is a word that describes the peak of arousal, and producing them is really only tangentially related to how you are touching your body. That’s why we sometimes don’t have them even when hands, mouths, etc. are doing all the right things. Focus on the excitement, not the technique. 

Have fun,

S&B