9:45 a.m.—Wake up to Brent Soloway’s [’14] eighth alarm.

10:05 a.m.—Class.

11:50 a.m.-12:40 p.m.—Discuss THOTs with Uri Milian [’16] at lunch.

12:45 p.m.—Class.

2:05-2:50 p.m.—Lose my dignity to Shaun T doing the Insanity workout.

3:00-4:00 p.m.—Attempt to do work at the Grill, while really only gossiping with Sapir Blau [’14].

4:00-4:05 p.m.—Admire the squirrels outside.

4:05 p.m.—Check my Chase account balance.

4:06 p.m.—Sadly exit my H&M tab.

4:07 p.m.—Browse one of the many “Reasons why Chicago is the best” lists on my Facebook newsfeed.

4:11 p.m.—Debate buying a big cookie at the Grill.

4:12 p.m.—Think of Shaun T.

4:13 p.m.—Buy a big cookie.

4:14 p.m.—Feel guilty. (If you’re reading this … I’m sorry Shaun T).

4:15-4:30 p.m.—Bask in the glory that is the Wellness Lounge’s massage chair.

5:00-6:00 p.m.—Dinner with Kevin Charette [’15] and Andrew Frerick [’14], try to piece together where Kevin ended up the night before.

6:15-7:15 p.m.—Online window-shop. Yes, for an hour.

7:15 p.m.—Homework in the CCL.

7:20 p.m.—Browse 8tracks playlists, searching for the perfect study music.

7:27 p.m.—Settle on “Old School Baby Making Jamz.”

8:15 p.m.—Grill break. Catch up with Sapir, since I last saw her four hours ago.

8:30-10:30 p.m.—Serve hella Fat Tires at the Pub, particularly to one Kevin Charette…

10:35-11:30 p.m.—Homework/story time with Quinnita Bellows [’15] at Bob’s. Admire her outfit.

11:35 p.m.—Walk to Cowles Apartments.

11:40 p.m.—See Fabian Campos [’15]. Insult him.

11:50 p.m.-12:30 a.m.—Watch South Park with Brent and Eduardo Olmos [’14].

12:32 a.m.—Floss, hell yeah.

12:41 a.m.—Sleep to ocean sounds.