7:00 a.m. — Wake up the morning.
7:03 a.m. — Go back in bed with my cell phone.
7:11 a.m. — Learn about how to choose the perfect microwave.
7:19 a.m. — Do a naked handstand.
7:26 a.m. — Realize the blinds are open.
8:00 a.m. — Physics.
8:06 a.m. — Realize I have no clue what’s going on.
8:14 a.m. — Note that I need to email Mira [Hall ’16]’s mom for Girl Scout cookies.
9:00 a.m. — Computer science.
10:00 a.m. — Econ.
10:37 a.m. — Make Vinita Singh ’14 touch my hair because it feels so luscious.
11:00 a.m. — Math.
11:49 a.m. — [Professor] Mileti says bj (bj. hah) while talking about commutatively in group theory, and I can’t stop giggling.
12:03 p.m. — Food lines are too long so naturally I bitch about it to Willa Collins ’16.
12:27 p.m. — Mira’s mom texts me asking about the Girl Scout cookies while I’m pooping.
12:40 p.m. — Somehow manage to create three full loads of laundry from just my dress shirts and underwear.
12:42 p.m. — Using newfound knowledge of microwaves, I heat up my microwave ravioli dinner.
2:14 p.m. —Head to JRC for Food Recovery Network shift.
2:23 p.m. — Leave to work on computer science with Boyd Monson ’16.
3:11 p.m. — On my walk back to Loose, I question how many points are necessary to create a hypercube (the answer is 16).
3:12 p.m. — Realize how boring my life is.
3:13 p.m. — Pacify myself by eating Cheetos and getting on tumblr.
5:49 p.m. — After realizing I’ve been on tumblr for almost 3 hours, I decide to take a selfie explaining that my piss smells like asparagus.
5:50 p.m. — I lost two followers.
6:04 p.m. — Go to D-hall for some grub.
6:09 p.m. — Chat with the ever-so-lovely cheery-checker Marie.
6:47 p.m. — Go to work on homework.
6:49 p.m. — Talk with Cody Combs ’15 about the importance of oranges on JRC second.
8:00 p.m. — Econ mentor session.
8:54 p.m. — Talk about life-changing orgies with Nick Cohen ’16.
10:09 p.m. — Masturbation.
10:24 p.m. — Shower.
11:02 p.m. — Shamelessly watch three episodes of Shameless.
1:30 a.m. — Pass out.
