The Scarlet & Black

The Student News Site of Grinnell College

The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

SHIC advice column

Mmmgurl, Do You Know What’s Sexier than Sex?

Imagine a typical Sunday brunch—what are some of the conversations that you typically overhear? Probably something like: “Harris was really sloppy…”, “ I shouldn’t have waited till
nowtostartallmyreading…”,“I really need to stop going to Snack Shack beause I feel gross.”but the quintessential Sunday brunch topic has to be “Uh muh guh, did you see Karlie Kuezelbacher going home with Ren Ronald at Harris??!”

Many Grinnellians pride themselves on participating in Grinnell’s sex-positive hookup cul- ture, but it can be easy to forget that many of us are in monogamous relationships or choose to abstain from sexual activity. Being or becoming sexually active is a personal choice. Sometimes in Grinnell’s sex-positive environment it’s easy to feel like everyone around you is having sex or hooking up. Nevertheless, besides being able to talk about sexuality freely and openly, being sex-positive also requires that we acknowledge that people have highly variant sexual sensi- bilities and histories. It is about respecting all individual’s sexual choices, whether that means having loud sex three times a day, postponing a sexual relationship till later in life or committing oneself to complete celibacy. Regardless of your personal choices, you have the right to feel confident about your (consensual) sexual decisions wherever and whenever. If that means talking with friends about your decisions, coming out as a virgin, asking to change the conversation or proudly participating in Grinnellsex, you should do it. Remember that if we allow ourselves to talk about our sex, we also must be willing to talk about our not-sex.

Try these conversation starters at your next Sunday brunch!

“Walk of shame? WALK OF FAME!” “You know what’s just as sexy as sex? Respecting each other’s personal sexcisions!”

Orgasm: True or False?

How many myths come to mind when it comes to orgasms?

You may be surprised to hear that when it comes to orgasms the definition varies from per- son to person. Many people believe that in order to truly enjoy sex, orgasms for both partners must be involved. However, “While it is almost always a good thing to want to give your partner sexual pleasure, it can be counterproductive, to assume that in a relationship pleasure and or-gasmarethesame”(Joannides).For men and women orgasms can be physical, or emotional, for some people experiencing orgasms are like freight trains, and for others they can be silent with an occasional sigh or twitch. If you’re wondering if your partner had an orgasm, communication is a wonderful tool! Just ask! Another assumption is that orgasms require experience and special “skill.” FALSE!!! The more orgasms one experiences the more one will be better able to define what an orgasm feels like to them. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need a long sexual history to experience a fantastic orgasm. Even if you haven’t experienced an orgasm this does not mean you wont be able to achieve one, again different strokes for different folks. Pleasure and different types of stimulation vary from person to person—feel free to communicate this to your sexual partner.

Another myth is that a climax and an orgasm are one and the same, they are not. For men ejaculation is believed to be the end of the sexual encounter. However ejaculation is the physical indication of a climax while an orgasm is focused within the brain. For some, ejaculation is almost a reflex, without that erotic peak of feeling—some men can feel that peak or climax but never ejaculate.

These are just a few of the myths whirling around out there, in summary orgasms are personal and range from person to person. There is no sure fire way to orgasm, what you do with it is a matter of choice.

Leave a Comment
More to Discover
Donate to The Scarlet & Black
Our Goal

Comments (0)

All The Scarlet & Black Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *