The Scarlet & Black

The Independent Student News Site of Grinnell College

The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

Back to The Future

By Mary Zheng & Tyler Davidson

It is not always easy to recall events that take place at 1014 High Street, which makes sense because they occur in The Future. There is no concept of shame or hate in the Future. And sometimes there’s no concept of clothes, partly due to the lack of air conditioning.

The Future in question is an off-campus house that usually contains a banana stand, a wasp nest, housemates AJ Johnson ’12, Chris Barbey ’12, Marcus Zeitz ’12, Annie Pigott ’12 and Noelle De Geus ’12, and whoever else wanders through the front door.

“There are also satellite members. One satellite member [Ethan Kenvarg ’12] actually lives in the Grant McCrackhouse, in the honey-pot in Haines,” Barbey said.

Although the house has been dubbed The Future, its inhabitants tend to wear clothing from the past, as demonstrated by the matching red onesies frequently sported by three of the housemates.

“Marcus got his in the Renaissance,” Barbey recalled.

The group met each other when they all ended up in the same tutorial class. There is one exception—their rat Ehg, who didn’t meet any of them until a few weeks ago. The rest is history. Their future was bright.

It was so bright, in fact, that it blinded any of the members from recognizing shame. Nothing is too far in The Future.

“It’s a rule that you come and get half naked,” Johnson said.

Aside from that, The Future tends to take it easy. Days are relaxed but full of fun. There are, however, goals that The Future hopes to achieve.

“My goal is to make out with everyone in this house before the end of the year,” Barbey said.

The group enjoys living off-campus, because it separates school and home. The Future keeps itself clean with the help of a chore chart which helps delegate certain chores to certain people for the week.

“[We have a] house rule: don’t bring up bull****,” explains Johnson.

As for meals, the food of The Future is not what one would expect. Zeitz’s speciality is a tea made from his pet fermented mushroom that he feeds sugar and water. The people of The Future always keep their cuisine classy.

“We don’t mix food and violence,” Zeitz said.

Surprisingly, defensive techniques seem to have regressed in The Future. Should a serial killer ambush the house, the group responded viscerally and simultaneously that they would not hide, but would in fact attack their enemy, defending themselves and protecting The Future with pelts of metal ejaculated from large rifle BB guns.

“It’s a kosher thing,” Barbey said.

Although some Grinnellians may have doubts concerning their personal futures, this Future is a fearless force to be reckoned with.

“We are time travelers—we are moving forward always,” Johnson said.

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