Horoscopes: Communication is key

Ms Constellation Prize, Contributing Writer

Libra season is far from over, and it’s the perfect time to practice our communication skills. Libras are terrified of confrontation, so it’s important to be proactive and not fall into this vicious cycle of people-pleasing. This is a perfect excuse to download a new social media platform where you can be unapologetically yourself.

Twitter is the perfect place to share your controversial takes, academic opinions and meaningless streams of consciousness, especially now that YikYak is essentially over. And Grinnell Twitter? Even better. Tweeting with your peers is a fun way to dish about the intra-campus drama in a casual way.

Imagine a place where you can follow celebrities, politicians and peers. Through my interaction with Grinnell Twitter, I’ve gotten advice, made close friends and had two dates. It’s a bottomless pit where I’ve made some seemingly random but meaningful connections.

So go out this month, party hard and find a way to connect with people, whether that be in real life or online. A good way to keep in touch with casual acquaintances or even blow off some steam is to send some rambling texts at 3 a.m.


What Each Sign Tweets at 3 a.m.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

every single washing machine in main is full and that’s so fine but can someone let me know when there’s an empty one? I wish there was a system to tell me when the machines were open


Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

i’m going to start a rumor that I saw a bat flying around in d-hall


Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

when is my ex getting back to campus, i need to talk to a gemini


Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

last time i looked at a clock it said 10 a.m. then i drank two red bulls and three five-hour energies and i’ve been blacked out since then but my paper seems to be finished, so i’ll be doing this again next week


Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

poll: would you guys rather ride a magical unicorn that poops ice cream or have a cat that can fly for the rest of your life?


Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20)

the person who sits next to me in literary analysis got a 69 on their paper and i’m just such an empath i felt my own grade dropping (although it didn’t really — I got a 92)


Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19)

had to call campo to rescue me off the bucksbaum roof tonight. we’ve all been there


Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20)

when i ship something to grinnell, they should just ship it straight to burling because at this point in the semester i literally live there


Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

as long as i have one friend who works in the grill, i’ll never have to pay for my iced chais with almond milk or strawberry/mango smoothies again


Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

can anyone drive me home this weekend? i need to go visit my pets


Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)     

i’m going to do a stand-up set at bobs open mic this week (i’ve never performed before and am fully prepared to bomb but that’s the beauty of live theater


Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

*No tweet for Virgos: they’ve never stayed up past 1 a.m. When the Harris ends, so does their night.