The Scarlet & Black

The Independent Student News Site of Grinnell College

The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

Feven Getachew
Feven Getachew
May 6, 2024
Michael Lozada
Michael Lozada
May 6, 2024
Nathan Hoffman
Nathan Hoffman
May 6, 2024
Harvey Wilhelm `24.
Harvey Wilhelm
May 6, 2024

Horoscopes: The signs in middle school

Graphic by Shabana Gupta.


Growth spurt didn’t start until well into high school so for all of eighth grade, Aries was called Shrimp. Six years later and Aries still shudders at the sight of a shrimp cocktail.


Every night Taurus had to plug their phone in downstairs so they wouldn’t text all night. That’s how their mom found out about the cinnamon challenge… 


A terrible hair-cut from Great Clips made for a few horrible weeks for Gemini. Whispered comparisons to PJ from Good Luck Charlie certainly tanked Gemini’s confidence. 


Puberty hit a little early for Cancer who’s rocked a wispy mustache since age 12. It’s giving 2013 Justin Bieber, and not in a good way. 


Shopped exclusively at Aeropostale; dropping their moms hard earned cash on color coordinating camis with a built in shelf bra. 


During parent-teacher conferences, the Spanish teacher informed Virgo’s parents that they’re their favorite…yikes. 


Asked their crush to the school dance only to have them respond with an awkward giggle and a firm ‘no’. I guess Libra is stuck with their mom as a date again.


Was the first in their friend group to see a PG-13 movie. It was Divergent. OMG Theo James is soooooooo hot…


Lied about having their first kiss. B*tch, we all know that there’s not actually a cute boy that lives next door to your grandparents in Ohio, but go off. 


Had 650 pairs of Nike elite socks AND the Kevin Durant shoes. 


Changing before gym class was always a scary task for Aquarius, who never grew out of their days-of-the-week underwear phase. When all the other girls confidently brandished their lululemon sports bras and sprayed excessive amounts of Bath and Body Works Warm Vanilla, Aquarius quietly changed into their Children’s Place Size 11 shorts behind the plastic shower curtain.


I’ll Give You The Sun by by Jandy Nelson f*cking changed their life. 


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