Horoscope: The Signs as Things You’d Find in Your Grandparents’ Basement

Aries: Wedding china

Taurus: Scattergories

Gemini: Tangled Xmas lights

Cancer: Cobwebs

Leo: Hummel dolls

Virgo: Cookbook from a Baptist church

Libra: Exodus by Leon Uris

Scorpio: Deviled egg serving tray

Sagittarius: Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

Capricorn: Vintage Tupperware

Aquarius: Water-damaged photo album

Pisces: Butterfly collection

— Sister Aurora Impulse