Column by Christian Clark
clarkchr@grinnell.edu
Hey everybody! Welcome to the Hot Room. Lately, there has not been any good celebrity news. So I have decided to provide commentary on a few things. First, we have to talk about these celebrity commercials (I’m looking at you Beyoncé and Taylor Swift). Second, Rihanna’s “Kiss It Better” video came out two weeks ago and all I can say is, wow. Third, I finally decided to listen to Kanye’s “The Life of Pablo” album, and it has changed my life forever. Lastly, I have been taking a class with Professor Cori Jakubiak, Education, and we’ve been discussing language varieties and education, so I have developed quite the view on Rihanna’s “Work” and Desiigner’s “Panda.”
I watched Taylor Swift’s Apple Music commercial and realized that Apple Music has not released a good commercial since that amazing Kerry Washington, Taraji P. Henson and Mary J. Blige one last year. This commercial was not good. It was actually pretty boring. Like, I like Taylor. I think she makes great music. However, she’s bland. Her attempting to rap “Jumpman” while on a treadmill was kind of gross. Admittedly, watching her slip and fall made the slightest smile emerge from my face.
Beyoncé’s “Lemonade” preview commercial was also bland. Maybe I’m just not under the Beyoncé spell anymore. I enjoyed “Formation” from the political stance she took more than hearing her say, “When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster.” That’s another issue I have with her at this point. I feel like Beyoncé is not creating the great music she did before the album “Beyoncé” because she’s scratching for the young vote. I wholeheartedly believe she made “Formation” and “Drunk in Love” to stay relevant to the younger generation. But hey, it worked, so I really can’t knock her too much.
While Beyoncé is pandering worse than Hillary Clinton, Rihanna released her music video for “Kiss It Better,” and the only thing visible is her nipple ring. Now, I’m not one for censorship. People tend to have this very ‘holier than thou’ view when it comes to Rihanna and her fashion choices, but I enjoy her. This music video was literally the most sexual one-person video you will ever see. She even has dice magnetically rolling around her body. Tell me that is not a futuristic R&B, thot fusion. Anyway, I enjoyed the music video and the song, even though I prefer “Work” over any other song on the album. She just released a preview to her new music video and, yes, she does have a sheer robe on. Nipple piercings for everyone!
I started listening to “The Life of Pablo” and it is genius. Kanye is the only person who can mix hip-hop and gospel music on an album and not have the world go into complete destruction. He even questioned, “what if Mary (yes, Mary herself)was in the club, when she met Joseph?” See, only Kanye can do this. My favorite song is “Ultralight Beam” featuring Chance the Rapper. Now, if anyone knows me, they know that I’m not really a Chance the Rapper fan. Like, I can do without him, but he honestly made that song what it was besides the little girl screaming, “We don’t want no devil in the house, God!” Kanye was a master at this album and I need for every Grinnellian to listen to it. It’s the dopest thing Kanye has done since rebranding himself as Yeezus. Trust me, it’s worth it!
Now, I’m not a linguist, nor do I have the right to knock anyone’s creative hustle, but I can’t deal with all the comments about not being able to understand Rihanna and Desiigner and questioning if they are even speaking English. First, that’s how you know we have a privilege problem when someone can outright question whether someone is speaking English right. What does that even mean? All of the comments about not understanding Rihanna and then praising a white girl for Americanizing the song are just privileged ignorance. Admittedly, I make up words whenever I sing “Work.” But, it is not because I don’t understand her. It’s because there are some songs that not knowing the words to, makes it better, i.e. “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire. Do you really know the words to “September”? Or are you just screaming “September!”
Thanks for joining me for this edition of the Hot Room!