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The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

Animal Crawl

Lion’s Den

The unassuming exterior of this roadside store belies the raunchy interior of Iowa’s premier adult superstore. As a business catering exclusively towards humans, we felt the Lion’s Den didn’t have too much to offer for animals. However, the suspiciously “Lion King”-themed logo and a feature film entitled “The Cougar Hunter” brought their animalist rating up somewhat. That, and the Triple Pleasure Dolphin.


Nestled away on the corner of Park and 4th, Café Phoenix emerged from the ashes of owner Kamal Hammouda’s previous restaurant, The Last Egyptian. From the locally-raised and cured meat to the cute little deer-shaped porcelain salt and pepper shakers, this restaurant’s food and décor could satisfy even the hungriest of beasts.

Also winning points for Café Phoenix were its various animal-themed drinks, such as Goose Island beers and Lobo Loco wines.

(1) Eagles Club

Represented by the most noble of beasts, a bald eagle, the Fraternal Order of the Eagles is a charitable organization founded in 1898. Inside, a friendly officer gave us a personal tour of the facilities, showing us the truly generous spirit of the eagle. This impressive organization is responsible for a number of good deeds in the community, such as provide free use of their function hall to people in need for events such as wakes and fundraisers. The Eagles Club’s selfless community service would make any person or animal feel at home. The walls on the back room were also adorned with awesome paintings of bald eagles.

(2) Rabbitt’s

This long-established Grinnell watering hole is moving up the food chain from a mere bar to an all-inclusive hangout zone, complete with drinks, smokes, and gyros. With an name of undisclosed origin, the neon Budweiser pheasant hanging out on the wall invites patrons into Rabbitt’s, the perfect place for all you pool sharks to hone your skills.

With its wide array of products and activities, Rabbitt’s is the perfect place to indulge and get in touch with your inner animal. But don’t get drunk as a skunk, because you might find yourself at the zoo, or at least behind bars at the local precinct.

(3) Wolf Haus

Though not a commercial establishment, Wolf Haus, or 1015 High Street, is a local bastion of animality. With a pair of deer antlers lying in the front yard and 12 steaks in the freezer, Wolf Haus immediately impressed upon us its true animal nature. The residents noted that they frequently wear sweatshirts with wolves and deer on the front and once had a Periodic Table of Mammals hanging on the wall. Wolf Haus’ name originated over a hypothetical conversation in which residents joked that they should keep a pack of dogs in the basement of the house to release in the case of unwanted guests. Fortunately for those of us who wish to experience Wolf Haus for ourselves, the residents are in reality quite welcoming of all guests, animal or otherwise, who may stop by.

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