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The Scarlet & Black

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Horoscope: Where should you take your valentine on Valentine’s Day?

Henry Loomis

Aries: Hometown Heroes

March 21-April 19

Look, I know your picture’s not up on the wall, but maybe they’d make an exception for you and your boo, Aries. A sports bar is the perfect climate for you to yap about your new workout routine 😉 


Taurus: Pagliai’s

April 20-May 20

Going out was not in your comfort zone, so of course you would choose comfort food. No doubt you and your date will find comfort in each other’s arms. Just make sure not to eat so much you’re uncomfortable in your jeans. 


Gemini: McNally’s and Central Park Picnic

May 21-June 21

Do what you do best and make a to-do list. #1. Buy a baguette. #2. Buy brie. #3. Grab champagne glasses. #4. Lay out your gingham blanket. #5. Dig in! And the best part — #6. Your date!  


Cancer: Takeout from Chuong Garden

June 22-July 22

Night in with Chuong Garden and “10 Things I Hate About You”? Sign me up! Be sure to tell your date to bring a tissue box … shh … I won’t tell them that Kat’s monologue always gets you.


Leo: Kum & Go and Drive  

July 23-August 22

Valentine’s Day or Valentine’s Week? Your date doesn’t know where you’re headed or how long you’ll be gone, but the one thing you can be sure of is your confidence behind the wheel.


Virgo: Jacob Krumm Nature Preserve 

August 23-September 22

It is beautiful to share your love of nature with the person you love, but remember to keep your shoes on … if you aren’t at that level yet.  


Libra: Saint’s Rest  

September 23-October 22

You just couldn’t step away from your computer for two hours. Sounds like a study date and some fuel for your crippling caffeine addiction is the perfect way to please your brain and your partner!


Scorpio: Hazelwood Cemetery

October 23-November 21  

You and your date should pick out matching headstones! How romantic. While you’re at it, why don’t you blast, “to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die!”


Sagittarius: Casa Margaritas 

November 22-December 21  

Hopefully your date likes spicy food, because they’re getting a double dose tonight going out with a fire sign. I feel sorry for their intestines, but most importantly their ears.   


Capricorn: Prairie Canary  

December 22-January 19  

Ah. A classic. Prairie, you can do no wrong. You were responsible and made reservations two months in advance. A calculated move! Just don’t make moves in advance. Please.  


Aquarius: Iowa City  

January 20-February 18  

A responsible student would stay in Grinnell on a school night, but you are nothing if not rebellious. Enjoy Iowa City’s wide variety of cuisine and activities while you can. I’m sure you’ll be back by a reasonable time. Right? 


Pisces: STEW Makerspace

February 19-March 20  

Dazzle your date with handmade jewelry, collaborative pottery or an original design on the 3-D printer. As the most creative sign you’re guaranteed to hit it out of the park in your natural habitat. 

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About the Contributor
Henry Loomis
Henry Loomis, Graphic Designer
Henry Loomis is a second-year studio art major from Eau Claire, Wisconsin.  He loves books, trees, the artist Ellen Gallagher, movies, but especially queer films involving the ocean, and grows more obsessed with Joanna Newsom every day (the songs seem long, but he promises they’re engaging).
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