By the Celestial Maiden and the Celestial Minion

LIBRA: It’s your time, but who are you? Don’t get lost in the corn maze this month – forge your own path with a machete.

SCORPIO: It’s okay to miss a party. Eat some soup, fly a kite, conserve energy for your season. We can feel the cool breeze –  it’s coming so soon.

SAGITTARIUS: Tell a ghost story on the commencement stage. Make sure to leave time for the ghost to share their side of the tale afterwards.

CAPRICORN: The new moon on Saturday will find you doing some occult magic. Make sure to summon the right demon or you might doom us all to the hellfire twelve years ahead of schedule.

AQUARIUS:  You need a break. Take a trip to an exotic place, like the cowboy church in Newton. Services are on Thursday nights.

PISCES:  You’ll be put under the microscope, but don’t worry. The lights will burn you to death long before the dissection begins.

ARIES: Don’t partner up. The only companions you need are the darkness of the night and those unsettling screams echoing in the westward breeze.

TAURUS: Feel empowered by the Venusian energy in the air this month. But make sure to pick your golden apples for the right person, or you’ll find yourself rotting on the tree long after the first frost.

GEMINI:  Write a poem about it. Seriously, that’s all the universe has for you right now.

CANCER: Don’t throw out the seeds when you carve your pumpkin this month. Eat them, and by next October you’ll be growing your own from every orifice.

LEO: Stop avoiding tough conversations. Your worry lines are starting to affect your complexion.

VIRGO: Swim in the lake of corn at Uncle Bill’s Pumpkin Farm. You might be surprised at what messages in a cob wash up upon your shore.