The Scarlet & Black

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The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

Feven Getachew
Feven Getachew
May 6, 2024
Michael Lozada
Michael Lozada
May 6, 2024
Nathan Hoffman
Nathan Hoffman
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Harvey Wilhelm `24.
Harvey Wilhelm
May 6, 2024

Day in the Life: Steven Duong


8:17 a.m. – My first alarm goes off. Kanye West’s “I’m in It” plays. I once loved this song. April is the cruelest month.

8:35 a.m. – Alarm #2: “I’m in It,” again, but worse.

9:01 a.m.  – I’m woke! Compulsively tussle my hair and cuff my jeans upwards of three times—gotta impress/intimidate the prospies today with that windswept academic look.

9:21 a.m. – Gaze longingly at the eggs-to-order line.

9:22 – Head to the cereal bar. Grind up some Magic Shapes and do a few lines before class.

9:32 a.m. – Talk with Luke Jarzyna ’18 about our plan to repopularize laugh tracks.

11:15 a.m. – Run! Beat the lunchtime prospie rush in pursuit of Red Pepper Gouda Soup.

11:16 a.m. – Learn that I misread the menu.

11:16 a.m. – Listen to the Mountain Goats as I cry into my Tomato Pepper Bisque. Pro-tip for my fellow Grinnellians of color: tears make any dining hall food taste significantly more ethnic.

12:15 p.m. – Watch Ru Paul Season 8 finale (for the first time) with Nolan Boggess ’19 and Lucie Duffy ’19. Collectively gag @violetchachki reunion look.

2:00 p.m. – It’s time to talk about eugenics with Professor Steve Andrews! I’ve learned so much about how to improve the white race at the expense of the colored hordes this semester! Hmu if you want tips!

4:00 p.m. – Find Lucie so we can complain about class over gummy worms.

5:36 p.m. – Forsake D-hall due to lunchtime trauma.

8:04 p.m. – Begin homework.

8:12 p.m. – Begin writing poem about freshwater aquariums!

9:37 p.m. – Cool beans!

10:48 p.m. – Draw 3-inch tall portrait of SoundCloud rapper Lil Pump in French notes.

11:22 p.m. – Give [duffyluc] a pre-bedtime high five. Monogamous relationships are sick, my dude!

11:39 p.m. – Brush teeth while appreciating the Smell of the Day on Read 2nd.

11:50 p.m. – Think really hard about Lil Pump in hopes that we can hang out in the dream. world.

11:59 p.m. – Consider changing alarm clock sound to “Elementary” by Lil Pump

12:00 a.m. – Fall asleep. #notwoke

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