9:00 a.m. – Wake up, remind myself where I am.

9:02 a.m. – Remind myself which administration is running Russia.
9:05 a.m. – Remind myself that it’s now a democracy.
9:06 a.m. – Remind myself Putin is different from Lenin.
10:00 a.m. – Discussion with EU on how Putin has no future plans for the Russian economy.
11:00 a.m. – Discussion with Bank of Russia about the Russian economy’s future plans for the central bank.
12:00 p.m. – Walk to the Red Square.
12:01 p.m. – Take selfie in Red Square, just like the Bolshevik rebels!!!
12:02 p.m. – Realize it is different from Tiananmen Square—red doesn’t only mean communism.
12:05 p.m. – Take a sad face selfie, just like the Bolshevik rebels!!!
1:00 p.m. – Remind myself I’m not going to have any cake today.
1:02 p.m. – Have a piece of cake.
3:00 p.m. – Wave to my friends back in Grinnell.
3:01 p.m. – Realize I waved the wrong way.
3:02 p.m. – Realize I’m halfway around the world and either direction works.
4:00 p.m. – Get culture shock and call our guide Juan instead of Jon.
6:00 p.m. – Get stuck in state-sponsored parade for “Ukraine protection.”
6:01 p.m. – Wave hi to Putin Youth.
6:23 p.m. – Police man in fur hat asks what we’re doing.
6:24 p.m. – “We’re Canadian.” Walk away.
7:00 p.m. – Raise a shot of vodka to Professor’s toast to an independent Ukraine.
7:16 p.m. – Take six more shots
7: 30 p.m. – Appetizers are served.
8:30 p.m. – A toast for Russia!!!
9:30 p.m. – hweo could comidunflism fial herre? [How could communism fail here?]
10:30 p.m. – VIVA PUTINI.