7:07 a.m.—First alarm.

7:17 a.m.—Backup alarm.

8:43 a.m.—Experience self-loathing concerning my inability to get up.

8:44 a.m.—Get up. Shower.

9:18 a.m.—Have an inordinate amount of trouble trying to get dressed. Attempt to channel Phoebe [Mogharei ’16] for inspiration.

9:36 a.m.—Instagram my outfit because my social media presence has taken on a life of its own.

9:45 a.m.—Beat Connie [at the info desk] to saying good morning, feel smug.

9:53 a.m.—Get lovingly accosted by Tim [Villanueva ’16].

9:59 a.m.—Discuss the self-conscious struggle of writing my “A Day in the Life” with Teddy [Hoffman ’14].

11:51 a.m.—My reading includes the phrase “monogamous heterosexual bourgeois patriarchal capitalists.”

12:45 p.m.—Ride the strugglebus through Film Analysis at a speed of approx. three mph.

2:23 p.m.—Check my mail to find a postcard all the way from Namibia from Robert [Logan ’13]!!

2:25 p.m.—Holler at Sophie [Kornbluh ’16]. We proceed to sing the chorus of “Jar of Hearts” to each other.

3:06 p.m.—Stumble upon a fascinating YouTube video about a Goth day at Disneyland.

3:11 p.m.—Consider becoming Goth.

5:08 p.m.—Discover that @Horse_ebooks is run by humans. Weep.

5:21 p.m.—Make a great pun.

5:51 p.m.—Use DB for the fourth time today.

7:00 p.m.—NEVERLAND!!

10:00 p.m.—Roll into Bob’s for my shift.

10:24 p.m.—Become acutely self-conscious of the playlist I made last year.

10:25 p.m.—Sing along to it anyway.

11:46 p.m.—Fall into a deep discussion with Charlotte [Rankin-Higgins ’17].

1:00 a.m.—Blast music through the Bob’s speakers and dance with Char until my lungs scream.

1:28 a.m.—Roll into bed.