3:00 a.m.—Get pulled over for speeding in Illinois. Get off with a warning because the police officer thinks my name is funny because of the Key and Peele sketch with the substitute teacher.
4:00 a.m.—Eat a Twix.
6:00 a.m.—Get home. Wash the mud off my feet and go to bed.
8:20 a.m.—Wake up, brush teeth, class.
10:00 a.m.—Post unflattering pictures of Jarrett Thompson [’14] on Facebook.
11:00 a.m.—Class.
12:00 p.m.—Check in on NASCAR Sprint Cup Series for about an hour. Google if Nancy Reagan is still alive and then get an outtake.
1:00 p.m.—Nap.
2:00 p.m.—Class.
3:00 p.m.—Drink a couple beers in Cleveland.
4:00 p.m.—Call grandma.
4:20 p.m.—Listen all the way through a classic Toby Keith album.
5:00 p.m.—Dinner.
6:00 p.m.—Poker in Cleve 1st lounge. Start drinking in earnest.
7:30 p.m.—Bengals-Steelers in Cleve 1st lounge. Start drinking in excess.
9:00 p.m.—Halftime! Go to Taco Bell and get some Fiery Doritos Locos. Beer run at McNally’s.
10:30 p.m.—Game’s over. Everyone drinks beers and listens to “Thirteen” by Big Star in my room.
12:00 a.m.—People start heading to bed. Try and use my computer. Facebook message everyone that’s online.
1:00 a.m.—Notice Yan [Aung ’15] the man is awake because my computer says he’s on Steam playing [Defense of the Ancients]. Get him in my room and drink a couple beers.
2:30 a.m.—Poop.
2:40 a.m.—Homework.
3:00 a.m.—Fall asleep feeling satisfied.