8:50 a.m.—Wake up having slept through eight of my alarms, ten minutes to class. Skip the shower, gargle with some mouthwash and proceed to run to Noyce in pajamas.
9:05 a.m.—Walk into class late, professor surprised I was only five minutes late.
10:02 a.m.—Two minutes late to next class, got distracted by a squirrel on the short walk from Noyce to the ARH.
10:50 a.m.—Next class starts at 11 a.m., hunger forces me to line up at the Grill, and I start to come to terms with the reality that I can’t physically be on time for class.
12:00 p.m.—Spent a lot of time and money buying food an hour earlier but still proceed to eat D-Hall chicken wings with ‘Asian Dragon’ sauce, realizing later that I’m vegetarian and apparently chicken is not. …
1:00 p.m.—Done with lunch, no more commitments till eight p.m. Contemplate doing homework, taking a six-hour ‘nap’ and end up watching six episodes of Dance Moms instead.
7:00 p.m.—Realize that my club is meeting in one hour and I have to go shop for food.
7:50 p.m.—Run back from McNally’s in a hurry to set up before the meeting starts, feel accomplished to be early and proceed to take a toilet break.
8:02 p.m.—Late to meeting, toilet break lasted longer than expected and running through Younker pit.
8:30 p.m.—Run out of things to talk about during the meeting, proceed to guide the whole group through the amusement ride that is an episode of Geordie Shore.
9:00 p.m.—Realize that Tuesday is a reality, also realize that I have a four-page paper due on Tuesday that I have not started yet. Proceed to cry a lot.
10:00 p.m.—Done crying, open laptop to start paper, end up on a BuzzFeed video spiral on YouTube.
1:00 a.m.—Run out of BuzzFeed videos to watch and actually start paper.
1:08 a.m.—Suddenly remember that I skipped dinner as I feel my stomach ready to collapse upon itself. Decide to make some ramen for myself.
1:10 a.m.—Decide to watch a movie on Netflix as I eat, promising myself that I’ll pause it as soon as I’m done.
3:00 a.m.—Finish the movie I started, completely forgetting about my paper. Start throwing random sentences together on paper as my brain has stopped functioning.
4:30 a.m.—Eat an entire bag of Lays Kettle Cooked Jalapeno chips while lying in bed, question my ability to ever do stuff on time as I finally finish the paper and walk to my bed ready to pass out.
6:00 a.m.—Realize that maybe the seventh cup of coffee might not have been the best idea, but realize it’s too late and proceed to check if BuzzFeed has any new videos I can watch.
