9:00 a.m.—Wake up to “Deep Breath” by Gemma Dunleavy. Cannot bear to leave the depths of my comforter. Not quite ready to #thrive yet.
9:15 a.m.-9:35 a.m.—Ready to Neti. Take a morning shower because my head is one massive cowlick. Get dressed in shower stall due to shame-based upbringing.
9:45 a.m.—Head to the Grill to get my tea from Isaac Walker ’15. Somehow he makes the dining uniform look Health Goth.
10:00 a.m.—Walk to ARH for “History of Southern Africa.” At a loss for words in class discussion with fellow students who are under the impression that high market valuation of woman-as-commodity somehow equates to high social valuation of woman-as-person.
11:30 a.m.—Head to the #deeze with Jenny Samuels ’16. End up settling for some toast and a salad made with wilted spinach.
12:30 p.m.—Walk to Bucksbaum for class. Slip on black ice while speed walking to Rizzla’s “Elevator Elevator.” Still thriving, even when it’s brick out.
2:35 p.m.—In Burling’s Special Collections for my History Seminar with Professor [Aysha] Pollnitz, History, to look at some Reformation-era books. Kate Strain ’16 and I inquire as to why the publisher of this 17th Century Bible annotated 1 Chronicles 19:20 with “shut up”.
4:10 p.m.—Set up shop on Burling 2nd for the 300 pages I have to read for tomorrow. Proceed to browse SoundCloud.
4:20 p.m.—Listen to “Anaconda.”
4:21 p.m.—Tweet “just realized anaconda doesn’t mean butt.”
4:40 p.m.—See a Yik Yak about Mark Spero ’16, write a sensual poem in the comments.
4:53 p.m.—Take a Snapchat selfie with the WiFi router above my Burling carrel, apply Valentine’s Day themed “Me and Bae” filter.
5.30 p.m.—Head to dinner when I realize I’ve spent the last half-hour looking at photos of bagels.
6:30 p.m.—Eliza Harrison ’16 drives me, Jenny Samuels and Hannah Bernard ’15 from the JRC to Burling since it’s -3F out. She bumps some Aaliyah, whole car #thriving.
8:00 p.m.—Leave Burling to go to a SGA Concerts meeting. I lose the social media outreach raffle to Luke Jarzyna ’18. He receives the official prize of “a novelty beverage in a size Isaac Walker finds hilarious.”
10:00 p.m.—Off to Bob’s Underground Café to finish a reading for tomorrow. Lavish myself with Nick Matesanz ’16’s expertly seasoned pizza bagel. He has a gift.
1:00 a.m.—Brush teeth, off to bed. Can’t fall asleep because I come to the realization that Kourtney Kardashian’s monotone is actually a symptom of late capitalist alienation.
1:15 a.m.—I put on the BBC World Service as a sleep aid, and fall asleep within minutes.
