Horoscope: The Signs as Different Types of Trash

Aries: Care Bear stickers

Taurus: Crusted sponge

Gemini: Mayonnaise jar full of toenails

Cancer: Broken ant farm

Leo: Used makeup wipe

Virgo: Mildewed Pillow Pet

Libra: Crumpled newspapers from 1985

Scorpio: Stained leopard print high heel

Sagittarius: Crisper drawer full of bread twist ties

Capricorn: Unopened Nickelback album

Aquarius: Cool Ranch Doritos bag in puddle

Pisces:  Cardboard box full of broken light bulbs

— Sister Aurora Impulse