The Scarlet & Black

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The Scarlet & Black

The Scarlet & Black

An Onion’s Labyrinth: Alternative post-grad plans for the unsure student

“So what are you doing after college?” Every college student’s most dreaded question. For those of us who aren’t on course to go to medical school or haven’t been interning at Royal Bank of Scotland prior to attending college, we struggle with this question after we wake up, before we fall asleep, before and after every meal and during every minute when we’re on the phone with our parents. Basically the malicious question eats us every hour of every day. Unless you’re studying diving—an actual major at Florida Keys Community College—you’re like most students and probably haven’t found that new and exciting subject that you want to further explore and possibly pursue as a career. Fear not, though, there are more interesting and unconventional ways of figuring out what you want to do with your life. These are the two most unusual things to do if you’re a post-graduate student who is still trying to figure out your life.

1. Ski Bum

Bottomless powder, backcountry terrain and spectacular mountain views; if any of these sounds appealing to you then you might want to consider the life of a ski bum. Outdoor enthusiasts will take pleasure in embracing such an exciting and relaxed lifestyle. Those that live by the skier’s mentality, “Play hard, ski harder” have a chance to enjoy life before they enter the workforce. However, the life of a skiing aficionado (as they prefer to be called) can seem grueling at times.

Most bums struggle financially. Season passes can cost up to 1,000 dollars at some resorts, and the cost for equipment can double that amount. After a long day of shredding, skiers will come home to their small and messy apartments (most ski bums have not yet learned basic hygiene and organizational skills) that they share with six other ski addicts. They struggle to afford cheese quesadillas, as most live pay check to pay check. It could be in these dire times of money-hustling that people can learn to appreciate the income that could be earned working a “real” job. But hey, it’s the most fun time of your life and that could be worth more than any number on a check.

2. Jail 

I’m not a criminal nor do I plan to be; bear with me on this one. This summer I interned at a theatre company in New York City, and it is in the Big Apple where one will find the most odd and interesting characters this planet has to offer. One night after a game of soccer at Chelsea Piers in lower Manhattan, I was reading “The 48 Laws of Power” as I rode the C subway to my apartment on 34th Street. It was 11:45 at night and the only two people on the subway were a homeless person who had fallen asleep and I. The subway stopped at 26th street and right then, a very tall African-American man with a scar that penetrated his entire left cheek and the words, “Fuck the b*****s, go for the money” on his shirt sat in the seat right next to me. Although the man kept glancing over at me, I remained calm. Finally he pointed at my book and asked, “Is that ‘The 48 Laws of Power?’” Trembling like a fourth grade boy who had just been caught rummaging through his parent’s closet, I replied that it was. “Yo, that book was amazing. Robert Greene really knows how to tell a story.” Surprised, I asked him if he’d read it. “Yeah, I’ve read all his books—‘The 33 Strategies of War,’ ‘The Art of Seduction,’ I’ve read them all. When I was in the joint all I ever did was read.”

Imagine that; jail gives you the time to read books all day. Free food, easy living and all the books that you could dream of reading. Now, I don’t recommend engaging in criminal activity in order to enjoy this seemingly almost-luxurious lifestyle, but if police want information on who did what crime, call in and plead guilty. You’ll be glad you did when you’re sitting in your cell enjoying more reads than a college professor ever imagined.

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