I am not ashamed to say that I have a problem when it comes to “Vanderpump Rules.” I am fascinated by Jax’s compulsive lying, Kristen’s unhinged behavior and Lisa’s rule with an iron fist, and that is only the start. Most of all, however, I have always been intrigued with the restaurant that serves as the setting for the entire show — SUR. And so, upon returning home to Southern California this past break, I made it my mission to eat there and get to know the place I have loved from afar.
Located in West Hollywood, Calif., SUR is Lisa Vanderpump’s flagship restaurant. Saying that SUR is a restaurant is actually redundant, as the name is an acronym for Sexy Unique Restaurant. During my visit, I certainly experienced the second adjective, and maybe even the first if you consider inconsistent themes, overpriced drinks and paper on top of tablecloth sexy.
I want to make clear that I had no expectation that this would be a great meal, food-wise. After all, the appeal of the show is not that the restaurant is amazing, but instead staffed by attractive and incompetent aspiring actors or models. My date — also an avid fan of the show — and I arrived early for our reservation, but we were welcomed nonetheless to sit at the bar. There, after the bartender suspiciously checked our IDs because we “looked good,” I ordered their famous Pumptini, named after Vanderpump’s gay bar that has since closed and is now part of TomTom, which is also failing. My date ordered a rosemary gimlet. My Pumptini was fine, although its sugar rim did eventually form a sticky syrup.
After sitting at the bar for a short time, we were led to our table. The walk to the table felt like going through a sampler of different styles of restaurant, as we quickly passed from New American to Italian to our eventual destination of attempted Mediterranean. The restaurant is also in somewhat of a dilapidated state, with locks falling off the bathroom door being a prime example. The music was also strange, with dance remixes of popular songs.
Here, we were met by our server, whose attitude was encouraging but whose behavior would be confusing throughout the night. We immediately ordered the goat cheese balls, the favorite dish of the show’s Stassi Schroeder. They were as good as advertised, and the mango chutney was truly great. The bread plate, however, came with a side of chimichurri, which was utterly tasteless.
For our mains, I ordered the chicken scallopini spaghetti with garlic, capers and lemon, while my date ordered the truffle potato gnocchi. She liked hers. By the end of mine, I felt somewhat ill. The lemon flavor was nice — a little strong, but I do like it that way. The chicken was fine, and the pasta was nonoffensive. As I neared the bottom of the plate, I realized something was wrong. There sat a layer of oil, an amount inappropriate even for the strange underwear photoshoots Vanderpump does of the staff. Determined to not leave any food to waste, I ate what was left, save most of the oil, but that was still too much.
For dessert, we wanted the sorbet, but its status as vegan was worrying given my date’s allergy to coconut milk, which is present in many vegan sorbets. When we inquired if there was any coconut milk, our server never fully answered the question, instead stating that the flavor was passionfruit, not coconut. Also, at this point, my date ordered a Manhattan, which was far too sweet, had unbalanced flavors and lacked the strong taste of such a drink.
As we left, I felt that I had gotten exactly what I expected, and was happy to have done so. Still, I would have appreciated some more thought towards the food, ambience and structural foundations of the restaurant. For the price paid, I expected something better.
Side note—early in the meal, we began a strange and fruitless quest to purchase a bottle of Lisa Vanderpump’s wine. We saw a bottle of California Chardonnay, and asked the server if we could buy it. Such is common practice in a restaurant, I thought, and so I anticipated no issues. She seemed to hesitate, and then said she would check with someone and would get back to us. She forgot to do that, but when we asked again, she immediately checked. She came back, and said we could not buy the bottle of wine.
We then asked if we bought it, opened it, and drank some, if we could leave with it, to which she also said no.
She recommended that we go to a nearby grocery store, where it would be cheaper, but when we asked there, they said they did not carry it. And thus ended our tragic search for Vanderpump wine.
2.9/5 Stars
The Pumptini
Ketel Vodka, Triple sec, Grapefruit Juice, Lime Juice, Raspberry Purée, Dehydrated Orange Garnish—$22
The Mai Tai
Workdog Rum, Meyer’s Dark Rum, Triple Sec, Lime Juice, Orgeat Syrup, Angostura Bitters—$20
The English Rose Garden
Botanist Gin, Grapefruit Juice, Lemon Juice, Grenadine, Thyme—$19
The Manhattan
Bulleit Rye, Martini Sweet Vermouth, Angostura Bitters—$22
Whiskey sour
Maker’s Mark — $11
Fried Goat Cheese Balls
Mango Chutney, Crostini—$18
Bread Basket
Chimichurri sauce—$12
Truffle Potato Gnocchi
Grana Padano,Chives—$34
Chicken Scallopini Spaghetti
Garlic, Capers, Lemon, Smoked Butter—$28
Sorbet—$16
Total, after fees, taxes and tip— $245.08
