The windows of the restaurant Centro in Des Moines, Iowa set the tone for any evening one might spend there. On each glass installment, a subtitle underneath the name of the Italian establishment reads “[chen’ trō].” When I saw this pronunciation guide, I found it to be pretentious, but I accepted that my assumed understanding of the name was wrong. Once I stepped inside, I soon realized that many of my assumptions, like thinking this would be an unremarkable evening, would be destroyed in front of my eyes.
Upon entrance, my mother and I were greeted by the host, whose energy could best be described as “not dead.”
After that noticeably cold introduction, our server sat us down at a two-person table, where we were cramped next to a couple, despite the row of open tables on the other side.
When I unfolded my napkin, two dead ants fell out. The cause of their deaths is undetermined, although two theories prevail. First, the layout of the restaurant itself, with its confusing connecting hallway with bathrooms and a mystery room at the end, might have caused such stress to the insects that their central nervous system simply shut down. Second, the ants were confused about the portions of the menu, and consumed so much food that their digestive tract exploded.
The second theory is more plausible to me, as I would find out moments later. I tend to dislike menus with different portions, especially when the portions are as ludicrous as Centro’s. We ordered three dishes: a caesar salad, a side portion, fried Brussels sprouts, also a side portion, and a spicy sausage rigatoni. After ordering, I looked over at the couple next to us and saw the size of the servings in front of them, and felt something in between fascination and terror.
The salad and sprouts came out together, and I immediately knew that attempting to finish what was in front of me would be fruitless. The salad was good, though admittedly I am partial to the dish, and served its role well. The Brussels sprouts were inoffensive, but something was missing. The menu advertised parmesan cheese and truffle aioli as the accompanying components, and while they were present, they did little to aid the dish, which overall tasted burnt. I will admit that my glass of mediocre white wine did not pair well with the starters, but regardless, the charred flavor was noticeable. We decided that we were done with the sprouts halfway through the bowl, mostly due to the quantity present.
After the appetizers, my mother and I anxiously anticipated what we assumed would be a behemoth of a main course. Thankfully, we were met with a portion that could at least be classified as “human,” but still unfinishable. The menu described the dish as follows: “Rigatoni giganti, sliced Italian sausage, sautéed bell pepper, red onion, mozzarella, spicy tomato sauce.” If I was editing the menu, I might reorganize it, as the pepper and onion seemed to be the main focus of the dish and dominated the plate. Still, it was a tasty dish, and the sausage, sauce and finally my white wine went well together.
As we left, we agreed that what we had just experienced was “fine,” although I still was shocked by the various things I had seen inside. It is rare that a restaurant’s food is so nondescript and yet so memorable. I would not be offended if someone offered to take me to dinner at Centro, although I would be on high alert for more irregularities.
3.2/5 Stars
Food ordered:
Fried Brussels sprouts: parmesan cheese, truffle aioli ($9.99)
Classic caesar salad: romaine lettuce, asiago cheese, focaccia croutons, George’s Caesar dressing. ($12.99)
Spicy sausage rigatoni: rigatoni giganti, sliced Italian sausage, sautéed bell pepper, red onion, mozzarella and spicy tomato sauce. ($27.50)
Two glasses of white wine
Total: $94.69
