This week, I decided what every sign spreads, with a very loose interpretation of that word. Spread literally, metaphorically, virally, it’s all up for grabs. So read this to find out what you may be unknowingly spreading to your friends and loved ones.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Manspread
Aries tend to call attention to themselves, even if it’s not on purpose. Which I think is fine! As long as you’re not taking up other people’s space. Keep being you, just don’t make it our problem.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Love
Sweet, gentle Taurus. There’s nothing you do better than spread love and kindness. Although, perhaps this could be interpreted as you being a little slutty. Just something to think about.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Falsehoods
Maybe you can call it storytelling, maybe it’s something you think you heard, whatever. It seems like those little fibs are getting bigger and bigger, Gemini.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Yourself thin
If you’re reading this I’m assuming you’re a college student, and if you’re a Cancer you have to balance that college workload with all of your crazy mood swings. That’s gotta build up after a while, good luck.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Positivity
Sometimes you don’t just spread positivity, you bombard people with it. But sometimes that’s just what a person needs. Good for you, Leo. But hey, maybe sometimes it’s okay to be a little down.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Peanut butter
Practical Virgos know that peanut butter is both delicious and nutritious. An excellent staple food that feels like a treat, and I feel like that pretty much sums up Virgos.
Libra (September 23 – October 23): The word
Libras seem to know everyone’s business, and they’re not afraid to make sure everyone else knows it too. You would’ve been a great town crier back in the day. Now that society has evolved past that, this might be something to work on.
Scorpio (October 24 – November 21): Disease
The raging fire inside you can’t quite burn up those germs, can it. When your passion runs as hot as a Scorpio’s some diseases are hard to avoid. With a course of antibiotics though, you’ll be as good as new. Be careful out there moving forward.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Lice
I don’t know, it seems like a Sagittarius thing to get lice. You’re always out doing random stuff, maybe you picked up some lice along the way. Ew. Here’s a tip from me to you: tea tree oil.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Confusion
In a good way! You’re in your own world, and we love you for it. But, sometimes you need to clue us in on what exactly is going on in that world. If only everyone could see your inner life.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Knowledge
Aquarians tend to be pretty cerebral and reflective, and if people get to know you, you’’ll share your thoughts with them. You’re great conversationalists, but sometimes we all want you to lighten up a little. Let’s stay grounded in reality, and maybe in something lighthearted for a while.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Tapenade
If you don’t know what this is, you have to go out and try it immediately. A classy olive spread for classy Pisces. I associate Pisces with bitter foods. Not sure why.
