Here is what a Grinnell classroom teaches about marriage: love and marriage are not identical, marriage is a social construction and gay marriage should be legal. There is also a statistic that 60% of Grinnellians get married to another Grinnellian, whose statistical validities are doubted. Among the current student body, married students are rare subjects of mythology. Of the more documented, Pumpy Lumpkin and Lil’ Gourdgeous — two pumpkins for whom a Big Gay Pumpkin Séance was held and whose love was celebrated last month — wedded in Oct. 2023. Despite the odds, The S&B was able to glean three stories from three couples, either married or engaged.
Trying for Harmony
Darian Vazquez `27 and Erin Vazquez, a first-year at Iowa State University studying biology and Spanish, married on June 14, 2023, the summer following their high school graduation. They currently live together in an off-campus apartment.
Both hailing from small town Bethlehelm, Georgia, the pair met in sixth grade. In high school, Erin estimates the two were spending around ten hours together everyday, balancing advanced placement classes, marching band and jazz band (Erin on the flute, Darian the saxophone). Before going to work, Darian would also spend most of his spare time at Erin’s father’s house.
“We were basically living together before we moved,” said Erin.
Without serious consideration for a long-distance relationship or breaking up, Darian and Erin wedded and moved to Grinnell in Aug. 2023 for the start of Darian’s undergraduate education. Erin took a gap year and worked as a nurse caregiver, which fit neatly into her ultimate goal of being a physician assistant.
This semester, the pair started doing school simultaneously and have found ways to maximize their time together. Darian bunched his classes together, and Erin elected not to participate in clubs, which often happen at 6 in the evening, instead commuting home.
The Vazquezes come together in their shared apartment. Here, they listen to jazz, study, play video games and cook different foods.
“Oh, another thing. Dishes. We have to do a bunch of dishes,” said Darian.
Outside of this bubble, Erin said that they are the only married couple in their age range she knows of in Iowa. To others, she sometimes opts to call Darian her “partner” rather than her “husband.” “I think I’m scared to get weird looks sometimes, or I might get outcasted a little bit,” said Erin. “Especially when people are going to parties and they don’t want to invite the married person.”
Recently, some of Darian’s friends spotted the pair at Walmart.
“Oh, my God,” said Darian, mimicking his friends’ reactions. “They’re in the wild.”
Running on Time
James Snyder `26 and his fiancée Karli, a senior at East Tennessee State University studying nutrition, have a countdown on their phone lockscreens, the timer ticking down to this year’s Thanksgiving break. Last year, according to Snyder, they were physically separated for 101 days. This year, it is 110. The time between summer break and Thanksgiving break is the longest stretch of time the couple does not see each other in-person in a year.
During the fall academic semester, the two are both committed to competitive running — Snyder, a member of the men’s cross country team and Karli, on her university’s division I women’s cross country team.
Over the COVID-19 pandemic, Snyder and Karli met at a local running club in their shared home city of Statesville, North Carolina. While the couple’s bond began with running, Karli also strengthened Snyder’s relationship to Christianity. Snyder grew up going to church occasionally, but he did not connect with Christ at a personal level.
“Through the sacrificial love that she showed me and encouraging me to continue my journey, my faith, I surrendered my life to Christ in February of 2023,” said Snyder.
In March 2023, during spring break of Snyder’s first year at the College, he asked Karli to be his girlfriend.
“The relationship really works because Christ is in the center of the relationship,” said Snyder. “I think growing closer to him allows me to grow closer to her.”
After Snyder had discussions with his own family and Karli’s family, he proposed to Karli on a run in Blowing Rock, North Carolina in July 2024. The couple plans to marry in June 2026 and, following that, live together.
Along with the electronic countdown, when Snyder eats alone and their schedules align, he will FaceTime Karli, all in an effort to be intentional about the time he takes out of his day for her. Throughout the day, they also send selfies over Snapchat.
“I kind of feel a little bit old for Snapchat,” said Snyder. “But I guess when I get married, I won’t need it anymore.”
Loving & Speaking Freely, from BCE to the Present Today
Bella Bjorklund `27 and Victor Thorne `26 are joined at the hip. In the fall of 2023, they met in Humanities-101, an introductory survey of writings from ancient Greece, but were both in different relationships at the time. One of Thorne’s earliest memories of him and his now-fiancée is a conversation on studying ancient civilizations that continuously fall, the impermanence of all things and the potentially scary implications for the current civilization they live in.
After Bjorklund exited her previous relationship, she decided to further her relationship with Thorne by consistently going to Free Speech Club, which Thorne founded. Thorne’s passion for the organization, aiming to host open dialogues in various local and global issues, and LGBTQ+ activism strained his previous relationships. Thorne, however, finds Bjorklund to be supportive of it.
The pair share a stamina for hours-long conversations in Saints Rest or Langan Lounge and a connection that enables one to have some idea of what the other is thinking, according to Thorne.
“We had been talking about [getting married] pretty much from the beginning of our relationship,” said Thorne.
Thorne proposed over fall break of this year, less than a year after the two started dating in January 2024, at Thorne’s family land in a woody part of Wisconsin.
“I didn’t realize what was happening until he asked me to close my eyes,” said Bjorklund.
As Bjorklund and Thorne look to the ancients in their studies, both learning ancient Greek and Latin, they also look to the future for their own wedding — perhaps an institution that has not fallen entirely out of favor — in May 2026. They want to have their wedding at Herrick Chapel.
“We used to have a lot more student weddings back in the day, and that was where they would do it usually,” said Thorne. “And so we thought it would be really cool to revive that.”
Contributed reporting from Natalie Ng.
