Every time my professor asks my senior seminar, “how are you all doing?” there’s a collective awkward pause where we all look around at each other with big eyes as if saying, “does she want our honest answer?” Less than two months from graduation, how could we respond with anything other than “it’s complicated?”

Many fourth-year students are more overworked than ever. With our regular commitments coupled with job and graduate school applications, future housing arrangements and general questions about life after Grinnell, no wonder many of us are constantly exhausted. 

Having to plan for post grad often means that we have one foot in Grinnell, and the other in Chicago or Des Moines or London or wherever we might live next. My honest answer to my professor’s question is usually: tired but excited for class but terrified for graduation and a little sweaty because I feel like I can’t think straight. That doesn’t exactly reduce to the “fine” usually expected in social situations.

As of late, I feel like I can’t have one complete thought without being interrupted by fears of the future or reminders of my increasingly long to-do list. 

If the rest of the class of 2024 is anything like me, they’ve put pressure on themselves to achieve more this final semester. And it’s really hard not to. We’re inundated with email reminders about commencement and award deadlines and post grad financial responsibility. In classes, professors advertise upcoming conferences while assigning regular eight-page papers. Even in our own social circles, friends compare job acceptances and rejections. 

It’s no secret that the College admits hundreds of try-hard go-getters — I’m willing to bet most of us filled out every slot for extracurricular activities on our Common App forms. However, we’ve become far too accustomed to spreading ourselves thin. 

What fourth years really need right now is not high academic achievement, but to be present. Even if it means writing a C-worthy paper or skipping a reading, our priority now should be spending time with those we love. 

We should all work to be more present with the people we’ll be missing very soon. It’s challenging to shed our high expectations for ourselves, especially when it feels like everyone in our lives is asking “what’s next for you?” But by compartmentalizing post grad applications and lengthy lab reports and research proposal deadlines, we can better appreciate each other in the time we have left. 

Even if a well-meaning professor wishes us moments of joy in the greatest time of our lives, reminders that we’ll greatly miss college life can heighten our anxiety. Indeed, these four years are unique in that we can explore a broad range of interests, we have access to institutional resources, and we don’t always have to report to demanding employers. But if we act as if this is the best life will ever be, then how can we really enjoy ourselves now while still preparing for the future?

Of course, each student’s experience is unique, and not all of us will remember the College in the same way. Some might leave the institution with a “good riddance!” and others might tearfully drive away, scared that life might not be as good on the other side. But regardless of how we perceive this college, I can almost guarantee that we all have at least one person here whom we love. And Grinnell brought us together. 

In reality, in ten years we won’t look back fondly on the six days we spent working on a conference presentation or the hours we spent finishing 100-page readings for every class. And we certainly won’t thank ourselves for wasting too much time crying about rejection letters or dreading how much worse the “real world” might be.

Instead, we’ll reminisce about the night we scaled Bucksbaum one last time or the evening we stargazed from the soccer fields. We’ll laugh about spilling a drink at a High St. party or doodling on the Burling Library bathroom stalls.

So go ahead and stay an extra hour at your friend’s game night or skip half a reading in lieu of a late-night Dari Barn run. If we can help each other at least temporarily forget about assignments and deadlines and applications, then we might be more ready to cross the graduation stage in May. At the very least, we can try to remain present with the people we cherish here so that we don’t forget the good times, too.