I arrived at the male-identified masturbation workshop slightly tardy to a circle of males sharing their names and the oddest place they had pleasured themselves.
A pickaxe of an icebreaker, the awkward silence caused by the topic of self-pleasure quickly turned to frequent laughs as everyone realized masturbation is one of the most relatable experiences for males.
I felt comfortable. I wanted to share my experiences, from how I accidently discovered the habit at a very young age to an awkward moment in my adolescence when my mother walked in on me in our living room at midday and began scolding me for my choice of venue, only to later praise me for exploring my body.
Then, the conversation swiftly switched from self-pleasuring to erotic inspiration to partner sex to gender issues. In the process I was left feeling entirely uncomfortable as rather naive comments were made regarding how sex should be, and how mainstream porn is a model of what sex should be. Some individuals even admitted to not knowing that males can achieve orgasm through stimulation of both the penis and the prostate.
After this subsided, a solid flow of information began and I realized the exact reasoning for the workshop—advanced sexual education, the stuff most peoples’ parents did not teach them, but they instead find out on their own eventually. It became evident that just because I know some of the things that please me sexually, I cannot assume to know about the sexual desires of another.
Initially, there was a clear mix of hesitation and curiosity when the concept of prostate stimulation was raised. The reluctance to experiment may stem from a preconceived notion that men are not meant to be penetrated. Yet, luckily there were plenty of people who shared their experience and knowledge—diagrams included. This helped dispel some of the homophobic anxieties present in the room. Most guys who have been informed of the prostate’s power have considered experimenting with it, and the positive feedback provided at this workshop surely only encouraged that exploration.
The mood lightened near the end of the workshop as attendees shared their most humorous masturbatory episode. The longer the forum ran, the more I appreciated that it was expanding my understanding of both gender and sexuality. So often, I think of sex far too simply, and that seemed to be a common mindset—you get aroused, you masturbate, you move about your day.
However, just because an efficient orgasm is so easy to discover for most men, we neglect to think of more elaborate possibilities. The masturbation workshop served as a perfect reminder that one’s sexual knowledge and exploration are never complete.
