Dear SHIC,
How do I know if I’ve experienced an orgasm? I’m unsure if I have orgasmed before and I’m scared that I’ll never be able to have one! HELP!
Orgasm-less
Dear Orgasm-less,
I’m going to be quite frank here, if you are unsure about whether or not you’ve orgasmed before, you probably haven’t! With this said, there is nothing to fear. A large percentage of women have never had an orgasm. Studies show that almost 80 percent of women fake orgasms! Not to fear, there are multiple things you can try that will hopefully get you to experience the Big-O!
To begin with, an orgasm is a physical reflex and a pleasurable one, too! While each person has a unique experience of orgasm, common experiences include changes in breathing, a feeling of warmth, sweating, body vibrations and contractions, altered consciousness or an urge to moan or cry out. Endorphins are released into the bloodstream during an orgasm, which may result in you feeling happy, giddy, flushed, warm or sleepy.
The key to orgasming is getting to know your own body and your personal preferences that will make sex more pleasurable. Masturbation is the most direct route to an orgasm, so begin to explore your own body and what feels good to you! There is no wrong or right way to masturbate, so experiment with different intensities and rhythms of touching and pressure. Don’t be afraid to play around with sex toys, too (we sell some great ones at SHIC)! Your mental state of mind plays a significant role in the process of achieving an orgasm. Take the focus off of having an orgasm and pay attention to your feelings of pleasure and arousal. Just relax!
When with your partner, be sure to communicate with him/her/hir about what feels good and what you like! Also, remember that orgasming should not be seen as the “goal” when having sex with someone. As long as you feel good and safe when engaging in sexual activities with someone, that is all that matters!
Good luck,
[SHIC]
Dear SHIC,
A lot of people are shaving “down there.” We see all these commercials advertising for the best kinds of razors or waxes to use when we want to trim the hedges. We haven’t done it yet, though, because our friend told us about this woman who lost her legs due to an infection from a bikini wax. It’s kind of freaking us out. Is it safe to shave or wax our nether regions?
Rapunzel & Hairy Potter
Dear Rapunzel & Hairy Potter,
To start off, your pubic hair serves a purpose. It serves as a cushion to prevent friction that may cause skin abrasions or annoying irritation. It also helps keep bacteria that may cause an infection from getting into your “nether regions.”
That being said, removing your hair, whether your weapon of choice be a razor, tweezers, wax, electrolysis, etc, causes microscopic tears in your skin. The warm, dark environment of your genitals combined with the tears makes for a dream home for some nasty bacteria that include group A streptococcus, staphylococcus aureus and methicillin resistant staph aureus (MRSA). Also, some clinicians believe that freshly shaved genitals are more vulnerable to herpes infections because of the microscopic wounds being exposed to an infected area.
As scary as it may seem, there are precautions you can take to avoid such catastrophes. If you’re a DIY kind of person, avoid underwear with abrasive fabrics or going commando after you’ve shaved. If it tickles your pickle to go somewhere to get it done, then make sure it’s reputable. A good rule of thumb is to wait a day or two to let your skin heal before getting down and dirty with someone in order to decrease the risk of infection.
If your partner would prefer that your genitals be smooth and sleek and you’re hesitant, then just have a conversation with him/her/hir! Your comfort and pleasure with your own body are more important than being “in fashion.” In fact, some studies have shown that pubic hair is related to pheromones—scents that can be sexually stimulating to others. You might surprise yourself!
Happy grooming,
[SHIC]
