7:30 a.m. – Wake up in Cole Unger’s [’13] bed.
7:40 a.m. – Shower, dress, put on Cole Unger’s socks.
8:05 a.m. – Class.
9:05 a.m. – Quote Jeff Spicoli.
9:30 a.m. – Crumpets with Raynard et. al.
11:00 a.m. – Jet to CERN [European Organization for Nuclear Research] and oversee some collisions.
11:15 a.m. – Ferry ride back to the states.
(two months later).
12:00 p.m. – Stop by 1005 [High Street]. Announce my arrival to DHVNVNJVY [Siddharth Dhananjay ’14]. Kiss the ring.
1:00 p.m. – Make fun of the nerds in Kistle.
1:05 p.m. – Study in Kistle.
3:15 p.m. – Feed Tamagotchi.
4:05 p.m. – Cooking class with Wayne Moyer. Made baklava.
5:00 p.m. – Conference call with Frank Vogel and Paul George. Fix PG’s jump shot.
6:15 p.m. – Check the time on my Jacob.
7:00 p.m. – Make incorrect alterations to Wikipedia articles.
8:30 p.m. – Discuss current threats to campus safety and security with Officer Motta, while we shoot clays over the baseball diamond.
9:20 p.m. – NyQuil Nap.
9:29 p.m. – Homework!
9:35 p.m. – Eat a bowl of quinoa, only after Instagramming it.
9:45 p.m. – Help Michael Cermak [’14] with his math homework pro bono.
9:55 p.m. – Biz. Buzz. Bank.
10:55 p.m. – Drink. Drunk. Drank.
12:30 a.m. – Tuck Aditya Sathish [’14] in. Pour myself a highball glass of Old Crow.
12:54 a.m. – Enter REM sleep.
