No one wants to be alone on Valentine’s Day. If you’re still scrambling for a date, here are some suggestions related to the deep, intimate knowledge I have of you based on your sun sign. You can thank me later! Let me know how the date goes.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Your math lab tutor
Maybe their hand has brushed yours, maybe when you ask for help on a problem set due in 30 minutes you two just end up laughing and talking the whole time. Regardless, everyone in the math lab knows there are sparks flying here! Make it official. I want to see you recreating the pottery scene from “Ghost,” but it’s working on Calculus II homework.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Your high school crush
Maybe now is the time to rekindle. Hopefully you haven’t been yearning all these years (or maybe just a couple months if you’re a first-year), but perhaps when you think of them in passing, a sigh escapes your lips. Indulge that nostalgia this Valentine’s Day.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Your ex
I feel like Geminis are the most likely to have “the one that got away.” But they don’t have to, at least not this time. Drag that trainwreck of a relationship out for a few more months and ask your ex out again. It’ll be great, at least for a little bit.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Someone from YikYak
I personally am not on YikYak, but I hear that some crazy things go down there. You could respond to one of those posts explicitly looking for a hookup, or you could just DM that person who had a “hot take” you agree with.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Your best friend’s ex
Check with them first. And only do this if it’s an ex they don’t care about. I just think this is a really Leo thing to do.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): A professor
For legal reasons this is a joke. Kind of a Virgo thing to do, though, with a hopefully young and unmarried professor.
Libra (September 23 – October 23): That person you flirted with on High Street this weekend
Too many times I’ve seen an intoxicated High Street spark go to waste. And if you’re worried it won’t be the same, just show up to the date as drunk as you were when you met! Problem solved. Personally, I’m third wheeling my friends this Valentine’s day, though. Coaches don’t play.
Scorpio (October 24 – November 21): One of the people you’ve never spoken to but you’re in love with
I say “one of the people” because I’m sure there are many. Pick your favorite (or the one that you have the best shot with) and say what you feel. Just try not to come off super intense and creepy.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Your last one-night stand
This one is a risk for sure, but I feel like it could have beautiful results for you. I know a Sagittarius who started dating their last one-night stand, and it turned out really well. What’s the harm in trying?
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): The person you’re no contact with
What the hell, why not. Just say what’s in your heart.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): The amorphous figure who’s been haunting your dreams
Ideally, you can assign this amorphous figure to someone in real life and ask them out. If not, though, all is not lost. Next time you dream of this dire omen, try out a few lines.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Your best friend
How sweet would this be? Pisces are emotional and intuitive, and I bet you all have a best friend where all your other friends are wondering why you two aren’t together. And if you’re not secretly in love with your best friend, this can just be a fun Valentine’s hangout.
