I think household pests are just misunderstood. Here’s an anecdote — this fall, I constantly found ladybugs crawling on my ceiling, and it really pissed me off! Then, I Googled what the cause might be, and it turns out they were just trying to get warm for the winter. Keep this in mind while you’re reading, and perhaps you’ll think of your pest alter ego with more fondness.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Termite
Termites are tenacious and insidious, as Aries can be. They’re also kind of the definition of “small but mighty,” who knew all it took to bring down a house’s foundation is a gang of tiny insects.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Bat
Bats are cozy and bundled up to sleep all day. A lot of people are scared of bats, which I guess isn’t very Taurus, but in reality they’re sweet, fuzzy and sleepy, which is Taurus.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21): Ant
Just normal ants. Geminis are known for their communication, as are ants. They know how to march around dramatically and work as a team.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22): Possum
One of my favorite animals ever. Possums have those sweet faces, and I think their eyes betray a sensitivity that really screams Cancer. They’re also really supportive — they carry their babies on their backs!
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Centipede
Let’s just say when a centipede walks into the room, everyone takes notice. I find centipedes scary, maybe because I’m so intimidated by their starpower, but I acknowledge that they’re very helpful around the house because they eat spiders.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Moth
I feel like Virgos would eat a sweater if they could. And they’re also elegant and night-dwellers like moths. Just be careful of that light, guys. It’s not what it looks like.
Libra (September 23 – October 23): Weevil
Weevils are kind of delicate beauties, and I can just tell they look at the world with a discerning eye. They’re kind of like the tastemakers of bugs, which is how I see Libras.
Scorpio (October 24 – November 21): Cockroach
This is the undefeatable pest, which is so Scorpio. I get a rea lly nefarious and secretive vibe from cockroaches.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Bedbug
Once you have them they drive you crazy and they’re hard to get rid of, and that’s true of Sagittarius but in a good way. They’re so enchanting that you just can’t get them out of your head.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Mouse
Capricorns are kind of timid, but they manage the bravery to break into houses and tear up everything in the pantry. If I’ve said that once, I’ve said it a thousand times. And I think mice seem pretty smart.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Fruit fly
They’re small and curious about the world, as Aquarians tend to be. And I think you can probably trap an Aquarius with vinegar, honey and dish soap. That’s a tip for all of you with fruit flies in your kitchen.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): A person who leaves a tiny sip of milk in the carton
The ultimate household pest. But it’s not because they’re trying to be inconsiderate, I just think Pisces have their head up in the clouds. Please try to stop doing this though. How many times do we have to ask?
